Let me make one thing clear: no, I don’t have children. I’m not even close. However, I’ve grown up with numerous siblings, step-siblings, little cousins, friends of the family and taught enough children that I’ve been around more kids than most.

Most days I see parents doing things that just make me think mate, what are you doing. I decided to compile a list of the most irritating parents do. If you do any of these things, please take a look at yourself.

Lying to your kids. This irritates me no end. Whether it’s pacifying them to keep them quiet or letting them think Santa Claus is real, lying to your child damages their trust, gives them false hope in certain situations, and often confuses them. Kids aren’t dumb. Treat them with respect.

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Putting photos on Facebook. Constantly. Congrats, you produced a little ball of snot and vomit and poo. We’re all very happy for you. It doesn’t mean we have to see 50 pictures a day (not to mention status updates) of “my kid just walked its first steps!” “We’re having a great Christmas!” “My son/daughter is ill :(” PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN AND SPEND NORMAL, SOCIAL MEDIA-FREE TIME WITH YOUR CHILD. PLEASE.

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Ignoring your baby when it’s crying. Look, I know your baby cries a lot. I know you’re probably sick of it and tried everything to calm it down and now you’re just used to blocking out its screams. But when I see mothers using their phones while their small child is crying, or parents refusing to acknowledge their little ball of joy is annoying everyone else in a two-mile radius, it gets grating.

Let me be clear: I sometimes see babies crying, and their mothers cradling them, talking to them, or whatever. That is fine. If anything, I feel pity. It’s when I see babies getting completely ignored.

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Look at that grin on his face. He probably doesn’t even realise he’s been bad. *Rolls eyes*

Taking a picture of them when they’ve been naughty. “Hold on sweetheart! Yeah, right there with the toilet paper in your hand! Maybe sit here so it’s surrounding you! All right, don’t move, I’m going to take a picture! OK! NO, don’t smile, look guilty, like I’ve just walked in! There, perfect! Let’s see how many likes it can get!”

Seriously.

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